Yellow Jackets Pale in Comparison to These Bugs

Marquette, MI –  October 23, 2014 – I stood with one foot on the bottom rung of the ladder and looked up. Dozens of yellow jackets flew around the top. I had a vision of myself atop the ladder, staining the deck, when something hit my ankle. I felt a sharp pain, like a thorn brushed against my leg, then the burning started and more yellow jackets joined in on the fun. Before I knew it, I was swarmed by dozens of stinging insects and I saw myself swat at them before losing my balance. I fell to the ground with a sickening crunch.

Picture_Vespa

For the love of all that is holy… Why?!

Nope. My fiance and I decided to put the deck project off for another day and went for a ride in the car instead. Later that night when I was searching the internet for ways to get rid of the pesky yellow jackets, I came across something called Vespa mandarinia, commonly known as the Asian Giant Hornet or (even better) the Yak-Killing Hornet!

I’ll take a swarm of little Michigan yellow jackets to just one of these monsters any day! With bodies measuring two inches long, a wingspan of three inches (Nope, nope, nope!), and a quarter-inch stinger loaded with a neurotoxin that can dissolve skin and is potent enough to kill a human, Vespa mandarinia makes its way all the way up my phobia creepometer past skunks and grasshoppers (I can’t stand the way they jump at me…) to share the same kill-it-with-fire-before-it-reproduces spot as spiders.

Spiders (and now the Giant Asian Hornet) share the penultimate spot of things that scare me silly. So, what scares me the most? Pigs. That’s right, pigs. The best thing I can say about pigs is they become tasty bacon. Mmmmm…. bacon.

And just because I’m a bit of a sadist, here’s a video of an epic battle between a King Baboon Tarantula and a Giant Asian Hornet:

So, what spooks you? Clowns? Snakes? Clowns holding snakes? Halloween is just around the corner and it’s time to talk about all the things that creep us out. Why? To scare the pants off each other (figuratively speaking, of course)! Comment below to join the discussion!

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